I’m so relieved your voicemail picked up. I wanted to sing Happy Birthday to you but I didn’t want to actually sing it TO YOU!
Why not? What’s the big deal?
A machine won’t judge me or say anything weird in response, but it’s not going to take in the beauty of my song or the message of love either. Like it or not, that’s exactly what puts me at ease. There’s no human response at all!
For someone with a sensitive or traumatized nervous system, standing in your power, speaking your truth or singing your song is downright terrifying. It is an act of courage, a bid for power.
It takes work, and often it takes doing body-centered trauma therapy to get beyond the overwhelm; to learn how to integrate your experience in your body with your feelings; to trust that you can take the space and be big and nothing bad will happen.
When it comes to performing or doing anything that is scary for you, being nervous refers to your Autonomic Nervous System (ANS). Your ANS regulates your body’s unconscious actions, which in relation to performing can include sweaty palms, nausea, shaking, shallow breathing, and so on.
In other words, if you’re having troubles with performance anxiety on the big stage or the every day stage of your life, it’s helpful to get to know your ANS.
From Wikipedia: The autonomic nervous system has two branches: the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system is often considered the “fight or flight” system, while the parasympathetic nervous system is often considered the “rest and digest” …
It’s the sympathetic nervous system that is sounding the alarm when you’re feeling your nerves, dreading what’s coming, wanting to run away or hang up the phone before a REAL PERSON picks up.
It’s the parasympathetic nervous system that you need and want to cultivate, in order to decrease your stress and realize your potential.
Here are 3 tips to help you increase your parasympathetic nervous system for performance and for navigating the very real fears that occur in day to day life.
Take time to come into connection with your body: It only take a moment. Here’s how: Close your eyes. Notice breath movement that happens all on its own…your belly, ribcage, chest. Now notice areas that hold tension…. your eyes, your jaw, your belly. Simply say “Hi”. Don’t try and fix or change anything. Just BE with it. You don’t need to actively take in a deep breath right now. Get to know how your body holds your feelings. Often the natural response when you show up and pay attention is your body breathes a sigh of relief. That’s your parasympathetic nervous system! YAY! If it could talk, it might say, “It’s about time you paid attention to me! What a relief! THANK YOU!!!”
Move your body: Even the smallest micro-movement will counter the freeze response (sympathetic nervous system) and help you to stay present with your experience. Movement sends a signal that you’re in control. You’re not trapped or stuck in the past, in an old story. You’re here in the present, and unless you’re in some real danger, you’re FREE to move. Practice moving for no reason at all but to send a message to your sympathetic nervous system to say, “We’re free! Yippee!”
Be patient and present with your fear. Be a nurturing parent. Try not to react to it with anger, judgment or more fear. When you react to your fear with more fear, it amplifies your sensations. It creates panic and increased activation in your sympathetic nervous system. When you respond with curiosity and compassion, you increase your parasympathetic nervous system response. In other words, you calm down. You feel more grounded.
Feel FREE to comment on my blog. Let me know if it’s helpful for you. Ask me questions about healing trauma through voice. I want to help you to speak up and claim your voice!
hmmm, I love this idea that even a little bit of moving, even micro-movements will counter the freeze response. I am going to start trying this when I get into that frozen state.
Eve, you’re so insightful!
I will practice the guidance you shared above. And I miss seeing you! Hopefully, one of these days soon, I’ll have the time to reinvest in my voice through practice sessions with YOU! Thank you for helping me have faith that I can truly continue healing my past trauma, and my beautiful voice.
Your gift to the world is treasured….
~Rebecca
This is really insightful and articulate. To talk about speaking one’s truth as “an act of courage” really resonates with me. So often for me in day to day interactions, it seems to take a huge effort to simply speak my truth. And definitely is an act of courage for me. It gives me encouragement just to hear someone talk about it in the same way I experience it. Thanks!