To free the voice is to free the person
Kristin Linklater
In my 3 Quick Fixes Method March Newsletter, I talked about how healing is more about making space for the parts of ourselves that have been shut down, exiled, and fiercely protected in some hidden and often unconscious corner of ourselves, that it’s more about finally having space for these vulnerable parts to be seen and heard, and brought into connection. In this newsletter, I’m going to stay on this theme.
Fixing is great, when it works. Sometimes, it’s even life changing!
Like years ago, I was in the shower at the rec center, butt naked, and someone in the shower, (because it was a group shower situation), looked over at my spotty body and said, “Is that psoriasis?”
And, I said “Yes, it is. I’ve had it since I was 6 and had to go to school, and learn to read. I think it must have been really scary and stressful for me. It’s a stress related disease”.
And then, she said, “have you ever tried Flax oil?”
Well, long story short, this did turn out to be life changing. Flax oil was, indeed, super helpful! For My Skin. And that was great, don’t get me wrong! AND, it was NOT helpful for the parts of myself that lay underneath my skin, that were crying out for help.
For people with trauma, treating the symptoms, whatever wild thing is showing up on the surface, be it psoriasis, chronic pain, illness, or panic attacks, can be very helpful and needed, but it still doesn’t get to the heart of the matter.
And the point is, that inside that body, there’s someone longing for love and attention, for real connection, not a quick fix. Inside that body, there’s someone feeling vulnerable, lonely, scared or sad.
Here’s a great line from a David Whyte piece called Vulnerability.
“To run from vulnerability is to run from the essence of our nature, the attempt to be invulnerable is the vain attempt to become something we are not and most especially, to close off our understanding of the grief of others.”
We live in a world where our vulnerability is often met with disconnection, judgmental looks and quick fixes. Are there any quick fixes that have actually made a life changing difference for you? If so, I’d love to hear about it! And if not, what did you really need instead?