To Cry is to Let Go

Crying is the body’s way of saying “I need things to move through me and not always keep them hidden, deep inside”.

 

When I cry…my chest clamps down…the muscles in my neck and jaw go taught …I hold my breath.

My body doesn’t know yet that it’s ok to let go and have feelings show on the outside, to be seen and heard.

It’s a wonder this feeling of grief can get out at all. The message is clear: ” We think this is a BAD IDEA! KEEP THE FEELINGS HIDDEN! It’s weak! It shows you’re broken…”

Our voice NEEDS us to learn how to let go and cry, to let things move through…

 

I heard a new definition of love recently from an interview with Angel Kyodo Williams, an esteemed Zen priest. Love is space, she said.

So, rather than going with the old way and keeping my feelings locked up inside, and staying stuck in patterns of tension and chronic pain, I wrap this experience in a warm, spacious embrace.

I give the feelings Space and Time. (Yes, it’s uncomfortable, inconvenient, and totally worth doing.)

 

This is not a moment to problem solve, to fix or figure it out, (no matter how desperately I might want to…)

It is not a moment to put on a happy face or try and make things different.

 

It IS a moment to slow down and go the pace of my body… not my speedy mind.

It IS a moment to be present and stay with what’s happening right now.

 

And to thank my body for all the work its done to get to this point. After all, it’s learning a whole new way of doing life that includes letting go and being seen, rather than holding on tight to everything, forever.

And it’s absolutely, positively worth it. I can breathe more easily. I feel more myself, more alive and connected to the world and to others. And, best of all, I feel more love.

Take time this week to drop into simply being with your sensations and emotions. Set judging and analyzing aside for a few minutes, and let SPACE as love work its magic.

 

Here’s a poem to lend a hand:

 

Just Give Me This

Just give me this:

A rinsing out, a cleansing free of all my smaller

strivings,

So I can be what God intended,

True to my purpose,

All my energy aligned behind my deepest intention.

 

And just this:

A quieting down, a clearing away of internal ruckus,

So I can hear the huge stillness in my heart

And feel how I pulse with all creation,

Part and parcel of Your great singing ocean.

 

And this, too:

A willingness to notice and forgive 

the myriad times I fall short,

forgetting who I really am,

What I really belong to.

 

So I can start over, fresh and clean

Like sweet sheets billowing in the summer sun,

My heart pierced with gratitude.

~ Belleruth Naparstek